Jo Bell, better than the Priory

Technical issues mean that every time I try and leave a comment on Jo’s last post, the blog does the equivalent of the bouncer saying ‘your name’s not on the list, you’re not coming in’… to me and stops me from even reading her blog – very odd…. so instead here’s what I keep trying to add:)

I wrote a long piece, in which I tried to link the history of WBA with my family history and the Hawthorn family tree…. which was soooo overlong and more bloated than an A Lister checking in to the Priory in need of a detox. I kept trying to edit it, but just couldn’t seem to work out which bits should stay and which should be kicked to the kerb and deleted. Have you ever had that with a piece you’re working on? You kind of end up hating it, and despising it’s lingering presence that just seem stuck, without being able to ‘move it forwards’ to sound like David Brent…..

Anyway, I sent the piece to Jo Bell explaining that it was obese and potentially dull enough to send hyperactive Hariboed five year olds to sleep, yet I still felt attached to it and believed there was something in there worth saving.

So, in between working lots of Breakfast shifts, which means 4am alarm calls – so useful for your creative process, not! I kept checking my email, and finally hallelujah – I had the kind of response that made me nearly cry exhausted tears of joy – she’d done it….. and in giving me some brilliant ideas on which bits should be deleted into oblivion and chipping away enough to remind me what I’d originally intended the piece to be. She’d restored the energy to it, and although it feels arrogant to say it, and truly I don’t have that kind of ego, but I fell back in love with the piece again and no longer despised it. It felt like she’d given me back my poem, which had got horribly lost with overwriting, and too much detail from too much research, and blimey was I grateful!

Jo was described to me as being like Poetic Baby Bio, and I concur with that – there’s no way she could offend me, as I’m open to hearing anything that may improve my work and she’s usually spot on. Although I’m still working out where I do want to re insert a line about molten iron roots, as I don’t want to lose that idea! It still feels like a real privelige to have someone take time to focus on your work and see how it could be better, and show you that process. I’m going to keep a copy of the word document of my overlong bloated version that now makes me cringe…. with the suggested cuts/edits Jo’s superimposed as it perfectly demonstates how to edit work. We’ll post it on here, as long as you’re understanding that it is a knowingly overlong, bloated first version that I know sucked big time…. so don’t hold it against me should our paths ever cross in the real world, don’t be tempted to point and laugh and say ‘Family tree, haha!’ or else you’ll wake up and have a tree growing out of your ear. But I’m happy to post it here as I partly have no shame and am happy to admit how rubbish I can be, and mostly because it may be as useful for you as it was for me. Also when you read it, and see the original version it will make you think that you are a genius writer in comparison, so thank me for that positive shot you’ll get.

Anyway, having also failed to post pictures here for two days now, despite Jen’s best direction, I keep getting ‘internal server error’ flash up on my screen and advising me to contact MPOY to inform them… so I’d better do that now. Meantime imagine the line of baths I was trying to post a pic. of, where the players sit in the bath after matches and maybe talk… I don’t know…I’ve only ever had a solitary bath, so the idea of a whole line of us soaking away the tensions of the day and having a conversation like we’re in the pub is so surreal. What would be your line of chat if we were naked next to each other in baths? Hope there was enough foam…..