http://myplaceoryours.org.uk/jay-bernard/cowley-road-rough-with-notes/ My Place or Yours is a new kind of writer residency across five regions of England, in real and virtual spaces, exploring the theme of place. Take a moment to wander round and make it your place. We’d love to hear from you. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:20:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://myplaceoryours.org.uk/jay-bernard/cowley-road-rough-with-notes/comment-page-1/#comment-2871 Here’s one I prepared earlier…and earlier… | My Place Or Yours Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:41:00 +0000 http://myplaceoryours.org.uk/?p=847#comment-2871 [...] to share an early draft of a new Canterbury tale with innovative use of setting; be as brave as Jay Bernard sharing a raw longhand manuscript embroidered with colourful notes and corrections. But I’m still [...] [...] to share an early draft of a new Canterbury tale with innovative use of setting; be as brave as Jay Bernard sharing a raw longhand manuscript embroidered with colourful notes and corrections. But I’m still [...]

]]> http://myplaceoryours.org.uk/jay-bernard/cowley-road-rough-with-notes/comment-page-1/#comment-1937 Katherine Stanton Sat, 16 May 2009 10:41:40 +0000 http://myplaceoryours.org.uk/?p=847#comment-1937 Hi Jay I loved the funny exchange between you and the boy, and then the grubby shops on Cowley Road, with the grease and taste of fizz … spot-on. You’re right, they are definitely not ‘things you miss’. Small point: maybe don’t need dodgy keyboard AND sticky keys in the internet café? But then you move on to the woman (or is she a ‘girl’?) and things get pretty dark – and maybe a bit unstuck at ‘I can’t describe a woman’s life/ besides what’s spilled on to her coat’? After your mood is soured by the experience with the woman, the ending is sad, and flat. Is there some way you can keep the momentum and energy of the beginning, even if the mood is a sadder one? Maybe it is two poems, as you say. Katherine x Hi Jay
I loved the funny exchange between you and the boy, and then the grubby shops on Cowley Road, with the grease and taste of fizz … spot-on. You’re right, they are definitely not ‘things you miss’. Small point: maybe don’t need dodgy keyboard AND sticky keys in the internet café? But then you move on to the woman (or is she a ‘girl’?) and things get pretty dark – and maybe a bit unstuck at ‘I can’t describe a woman’s life/ besides what’s spilled on to her coat’? After your mood is soured by the experience with the woman, the ending is sad, and flat. Is there some way you can keep the momentum and energy of the beginning, even if the mood is a sadder one? Maybe it is two poems, as you say.
Katherine x

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